


The Artist and the Inventor

by Purplefern



Category: Captain Underpants Series - Dav Pilkey, Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bullying, Friendship, Gen, I Don't Even Know, I'm Bad At Titles, Kindergarten, more mentions of the 9th book
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-02-23 07:37:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23008027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purplefern/pseuds/Purplefern
Summary: In a world where George didn’t move to Piqua until later, two quiet kids become somewhat unlikely friends.
Relationships: Harold Hutchins & Melvin Sneedly
Comments: 11
Kudos: 37





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drawing by himself, Harold is suddenly joined by another student. Could this be a new friend?

Harold was a quiet and kind of withdrawn kindergartener, and didn’t have many friends (or really any friends). He mostly spent breaks and recesses sitting by himself and drawing. At least, he usually sat by himself. Recently another kid had started to sit at his table during free time. It was the smart kid who sat next to him during class, he couldn’t remember his name, but he thought it started with an “M”? 

The other kid’s presence made him anxious, but also kinda hopeful. Why was he here? What was he doing during free time? Did he not have friends either? Harold wondered all of these questions, but didn’t dare to ask them. Instead he kept his head in his own drawings, and the other boy stayed focused on whatever he was doing. 

This quiet companionship carried on for a few weeks. Throughout that time, Harold would glance at the smart kid during class (it didn’t take long of the teacher calling names for him to learn that the other boy’s name was Melvin. He knew it had started with an “M”), trying to figure out more about him. As far as he could tell, Melvin didn’t realize that they sat at the same table during free time, and Harold was too shy to try and bring it up to him. So the silent sharing of space continued, until Harold finally worked up the courage to at least look at what his classmate was working on every time. Looking up from his sketching, he craned his neck to see what was on the table in front of the ginger. He gained more courage when he realized that the other boy was also drawing. 

“That’s a pretty cool robot” he dared to say, for the first time breaking the silence and acknowledging their shared space. 

Melvin shot up, looking around and blinking as if broken from a trance, and finally his eyes found Harold. 

“Excuse me?” he asked in response, sounding confused. 

“Your robot drawing” said Harold, pointing at the paper spread out on the table before them, “It’s really good. I like drawing robots too” he added, holding up his own paper sheet which was littered with creatures, super heros, and robots. 

“I see” said Melvin in a neutral tone, looking over Harold’s drawings with a critical look. After a moment, he asked, “So who are you and why are you talking to me?” 

“Oh” stuttered Harold, his momentary confidence waning, and growing embarrassed, “Well, um” Melvin was looking unimpressed, and already finished with the conversation, so Harold re-mustered as much of his confidence as he could, stuck his hand out saying as confidently as he could, “I’m Harold Hutchins”. 

Melvin simply stared at his outstretched hand as if he didn’t know what to do with it, and then turned his gaze back to Harold. Harold slowly put his hand down, and slumped in his seat. So much for his attempt to make a friend. 

After a moment of mentally beating himself up for ruining everything so quickly, he suddenly heard from across the table, “Melvin Sneedly”. He glanced back up, and saw that Melvin hadn’t gone back to drawing, and was instead looking in his general direction, though his gaze darted from Harold to his drawings to the table. 

“So you...like my design?” Melvin asked hesitantly, and Harold immediately beamed. It was happening! He was making a friend! 

“Yeah!” he replied enthusiastically, “It’s really cool! But” he said, creativity running away from him as he grabbed a crayon and made a doodle on his own paper, “It needs wings”. He set to making his own version of the robot Melvin had drawn, adding some details, giving it wings, and missiles (every robot needed missiles). He was just getting to coloring it in, when he realized that Melvin was standing next to him and looking over his shoulder at his drawings. 

“Hmm” Harold heard him mutter to himself, “Wings could be beneficial. And it couldn’t hurt to add weapons…” 

With that Melvin went back to his side of the table, and sat down with pencil in hand, focused back on his drawing once again. Now Harold was curious, so he left his drawings and stood over by Melvin, looking over his shoulder to watch Melvin draw. 

“You should add some fire here” he commented, pointing excitedly at where Melvin had drawn a picture of just the robot’s head, “that’ll make the picture really exciting!” 

“I’m not just going to add fire because it’s ‘exciting’” snapped Melvin, and Harold immediately shrank in fear that he had ruined everything again, “This isn’t a picture, it’s a blueprint”. 

Harold blinked at him, not knowing what he meant. Sure the paper was blue, but a drawing of a robot was a drawing of a robot, right?

Melvin sighed, but didn’t seem as upset as before so that was encouraging, “This isn’t just a drawing to look at. It’s a detailed plan of the robot I’m going to build”. 

“What?!” cried Harold in amazement, “You’re gonna make a real robot!?” 

“Yes” replied Melvin, looking less angry and a lot more proud of himself. “I’ve been building advanced machines like this since I could walk. Before, even” 

“Woah” was all Harold could say to that. After that, Melvin went back to his blueprint, making changes for the additions of wings and fully absorbed in the project. Harold smiled at his first real, good, interaction with one of his classmates, and went back to his own drawings. He kept drawing Melvin’s robot, making it fighting various monsters and saving cities. Silence fell over the table again, but this time it wasn’t tense or awkward. It was peaceful. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I..don't really have an explanation for this. So just take it. Whatever this was, I hope you liked it. (Apparently I really liked this idea, because I sat down and wrote over 2000 words/three chapters of it in a single sitting.)  
> Kudos, comments, etc, thanks for reading.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harold was starting to be good friends with Melvin, but there was something kinda weird about him that he couldn't help but notice...

Harold barely stifled a laugh as the teacher kept talking about Uranus. He glanced towards Melvin, his newly growing friend who also sat right next to him, and tried to catch his eye. When he did, Melvin merely cocked his head to the side and gave him a questioning glance, completely stone faced against Harold’s bubbling laughter. 

“Uranus” he whispered to him while still trying not to laugh, trying to explain to Melvin what he was laughing about. Melvin didn’t look any less confused, and whispered back, 

“I don’t get it. It’s just science, Harold”. With a shrug, he turned back to paying attention to the lesson, taking dutiful notes. 

Harold just stared at him in mild shock, and then went to doodling the planets, trying to figure his new friend out. 

Something similar happened later during lunch time, when Harold had a piece of Laughy Taffy in the lunch his mom packed for him. Taffy stuffed in his mouth, he read the joke on the wrapper and started laughing so hard he almost choked on the candy. Melvin, who had started to sit next to him at lunch (which neither of them commented on, but it made Harold happy), gave him a mildly concerned look from the other side of the table, and Harold just  _ knew  _ that he had to share this joke. 

Melvin read over the wrapper, then turned back to Harold with the same expression from earlier on his face, saying once again, “I don’t get it. Is this supposed to mean something?” 

“Huh” questioned Harold, taking the wrapper back from Melvin and reading it over again, “But this is so funny!” 

Melvin just took a bite of his sandwich, shrugging. Swallowing, he concluded, “I suppose it just isn’t to me”. 

At recess, when they both sat at their table and drew / designed (Melvin had attempted to explain the difference to Harold several times, but it still just seemed like fancier drawing to him), Harold couldn’t help but ask, “Melvin, have you ever laughed at  _ anything _ ?” He had been thinking about this ever since lunch, trying to remember if he had ever actually heard Melvin laugh before. He’d seen Melvin smile -- he often did when they learned something “interesting” in class or while he was working on a blueprint -- but he had never heard him laugh.

Melvin paused, setting down his pencil to consider this, brow furrowed in concentration. “No” he answered after a moment, “I don’t believe so.” Looking slightly concerned, he asked in return, “Is that wrong?” 

“I dunno” replied Harold honestly, “I don’t think so”. Thinking, he carefully added, “It’s kinda sad though. There are so many funny things. Like Uranus” he couldn’t stop himself from giggling again. Melvin didn’t so much as smile, and instead had a strained expression as he turned almost violently back to his blueprint. 

Harold looked at him worriedly. He didn’t mean to hurt his friend’s feelings. Breaking their status quo, he looped to the other side of the table and sat next to Melvin instead of across from him. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings” he said honestly. Melvin didn’t look up but did stop furiously sketching. “It’s ok that you don’t laugh.” Brightening, Harold grinned, promising, “I can just laugh for you!” 

“That doesn’t make any sense” snorted Melvin, but Harold could tell he was smiling. That just made his own smile a little wider, and he laughed, making sure to be extra happy about it. Even though Melvin didn’t laugh, he could tell that he felt the same way. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And another one. Just re-doing some Movie canon but this time with no George. Once again, kudos, comments, etc, thanks for reading hope you continue to like whatever-this-is.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kipper Krupp was just an awful part of Jerome Horwtiz life. It wasn't like there was anything Melvin or Harold could do about it. Or was there...

Harold walked into class, biting his lip and fighting tears as he stuffed his backpack -- minus his lunch -- into his cubbyhole. Trudging over to the class tables, he slumped into his spot, causing Melvin to look up from the book he had been reading. 

“Hello, Harold” he greeted formally. 

“Hi” he replied in a watery voice, not feeling up to saying any more. 

Melvin regarded him for a longer moment, and marked his page and set his book to the side. As sympathetically as he could, Melvin surmised, “I would take this to mean another run in with Kipper Krupp”. 

Still not wanting to talk, Harold simply nodded and went back to staring at the table despairingly. Melvin fidgeted in his seat. Emotional support was...not something he was good at. That was usually Harold. Instead he just got mad at the thought of a waste of genetic material like Kipper Krupp making his usually cheerful friend such a mess. “That shallow end of the gene pool” raged Melvin on Harold’s behalf, “You would think that natural selection would have dealt with imbeciles like him, instead of leaving him to torment his intellectual superiors”. 

Harold blinked slowly at the rant, but managed a wane smile, “I don’t get any of that. But thanks, Melvin”. 

“You’re welcome” he replied awkwardly, though he was still internally fuming at the poor behavior of Kipper Krupp. He  _ hated  _ people like him, who ruined the system and upset the balance of the school. Not to mention that he had made Harold walk into class crying on multiple occasions. “Something should be done about that neanderthal” he huffed, “We should tell on him to the teachers”. 

While he was glad to have Melvin’s support, Harold shook his head defeatedly. “I already tried that. Mr Krupp won’t do anything about it. He doesn’t believe me”. 

“But he’s the principal!” gasped Melvin, his faith in the system shaken, “He’s supposed to punish trouble makers like Kipper” 

Harold could only shrug, and plant his face onto the table. He only hoped that he would survive the year. Kipper was in 6th grade, so he would be leaving at the end of the school year. He just had to make it that long. Sure, he’d be in a lot of pain, and he’d have to go without lunch for a while, but it’d get better eventually. It wasn’t like there was anything he could do about it anyway…

Thinking over the problem now that his usual plan A was apparently no use, Melvin suggested, "I manage to avoid Kipper by coming to school early. Perhaps you could do the same?"

Harold groaned aloud at the thought of waking up for school any earlier, but considered that it might be worth it if it really did spare him from being attacked by Kipper Krupp. "Maybe" he replied, though he didn't sound very confident, "But I'm not too good at waking up early". 

"I am, though" noted Melvin, slowly getting an idea. He knew that, logically speaking, it would work, but hesitated to suggest it. Would Harold be ok with it? Was  _ he  _ ok with it? "I could help you," he decided to say. "I'm always up early anyway. I could stop by your house in the morning and we could go to school together, an hour before it starts. That should prevent any further interactions with Kipper and his lowbrow lackies". 

“That… sounds like a good plan” agreed Harold, “except for the waking up early part” he grumbled. 

So that was what they started doing. Every morning, Melvin would wake up two hours before school, and stop by Harold’s house on his way to make sure he got there early, too. The walks were mainly quiet, since Harold was still too asleep for anything even resembling communication and starting conversations had never been Melvin’s strength. But the plan worked. Harold was tired, but it was worth it, since he managed to avoid the pain of Kipper Krupp and his posse. 

At least, it worked until day 9. 

The two of them were just approaching the building an hour before school started, as usual. Melvin was studying for the day’s spelling test while he walked, and Harold slumped behind him, yawning. Before they could get through the doors, though, they were stopped short by a regrettably familiar group of boys. 

Kipper stood blocking the doors, framed by the incredibly tired looking force of Bugg, Loogie, and Finkstein, who were varying between trying to look threatening and trying not to fall asleep. 

“So, you kids think you can get out of your taxes by sneaking in early, huh?” said the bully with an evil grin. 

Both of the kindergartners got a cold chill down their backs, and Harold was now completely awake. Melvin looked between the hoard of bullies, the door, and his watch, unable to figure out how this had gone wrong, his panic levels rising. Kipper had never bothered being here this early before, and he hadn’t thought the bully was intelligent enough to notice the change in schedule. By all logic this plan should have kept them in the clear.

“N-no” stammered Harold, keeping his head down and trying not to antagonize the 6th grader any further, “We’re not. We just..like coming to school early”. 

“Yes” confirmed Melvin, frantically nodding his head to try and appease the larger, violent, boys, “We are simply both going to school early because we are friends and we like school”. Not up to his usual standard of diction, but he could barely be heard through his chattering teeth anyway. 

“Aw, that’s so sweet” mocked Kipper in a fake saccharine tone, as he and his goons loomed in closer to the small boys, “And since you’re such good friends, you can  _ pay  _ together too” 

“Guys, get ‘em” Melvin and Harold both covered their eyes, as if that would do something to stop the taller boys from grabbing them by their underwears, snatching their backpacks, and stealing or breaking most of the contents in them. 

Laughing maniacally, eventually the four bullies dropped the kindergartners to the ground, taking their ill gotten gains with them into the school. 

Harold lay on the ground, sniffling back tears, before he picked himself up, and attempted to gather his things back together. “Thanks for trying, Melvin. But there’s no getting away from those guys”. 

Melvin didn’t reply, and Harold worriedly looked back at him, concerned that he had gotten more hurt than he had thought. Melvin didn’t look any more beat up than he was, but it was his friend’s expression that caused him a different kind of concern. Melvin was glaring at the double doors to the school, his mouth pulled into an intense scowl and his expression growing stormier by the second. 

“They’re going to regret that” he vowed, “ _ No one  _ makes a fool of Melvin Sneedly (or his friend) and gets away with it”. 

Harold stared at Melvin as he angrily picked himself up and retrieved his things, his eyes intently focused on something that was only in his head. “Melvin” he carefully prodded as they both walked into the school building. Melvin didn’t react to him, too involved in his own thoughts. “Melvin” Harold said again, a little more forcefully. 

“Hmm? What, Harold?” he asked, pulling out of his own thoughts long enough to acknowledge Harold. 

Harold drew a blank for a moment. What did he even want to ask?  _ Why are you acting so weird all of the sudden _ didn’t sound exactly right, so he eventually asked instead,“What are you planning?” 

“Nothing too concrete at the moment” he replied, lapsing back into his focused stare into the distance, “I’m considering a robot of some fashion. Something that Kipper and his moronic henchman would truly fear”. 

Though Harold couldn’t say he felt entirely comfortable with the spite in Melvin’s tone, he did think that a robot to terrify those awful bullies sounded pretty great, “I’d like to build a robot that could give them all wedgies” he muttered angrily, “It’d have, like, multiple arms, and underwear tracking vision” He could see the drawing of the robot in his head, and his fingers itched to get the sketch down onto paper. 

“Yes” agreed Melvin, considering the idea, picturing the design for such a device. “A twin titanium engine, extendo-matic arms, x-ray vision, it’s all perfectly achievable”. The second they got to their seats, Melvin pulled out a clean blueprint and started writing specs and measurements on it. Harold got out his printer paper, and started drawing his own version (with the added doodle of Kipper&co running away and crying like little babies). Melvin glanced over at Harold’s take, occasionally nodding to himself and making an alteration to the design. By the time class started, the two had created a plan for getting back at their bullies. Looking over their work, Melvin nodded in satisfaction, saying, “This shouldn’t take more than a day to build. Now all it needs is a name”. 

“How ‘bout ‘Wedgie-Tron’?” supplied Harold. 

Melvin thought it over, nodded, and wrote at the bottom of the paper, “the Wedgie-Tron 2000”. 

True to his word, when Melvin showed up at Harold’s door the next morning, he had a large something with him, covered with a sheet. 

“Hello, Harold” he greeted. 

Harold stared at the thing under the sheet with intrigue and some fear, asking his bespectacled bestie, “Is that what I think it is?” 

“If you’re thinking it’s the Wedgie-Tron 2000, then yes” he replied as he started to tug the invention behind him as he turned towards the school, “Come, Harold. It’s time we showed this to Kipper and his friends”. 

“But, Melvin” questioned Harold as he walked alongside the inventor and his invention, “Aren’t you worried about getting into trouble? I’m pretty sure using giant robots on other kids is against the rules”. 

“One would think” agreed Melvin with a serious look, “But, I checked the rules. All 10,000 of them. There is nothing that states that bringing wedgie-based robotics is against school policy.” 

“But attacking other students is” worried Harold. 

“True” allowed Melvin, “But  _ I  _ won’t have to do a thing. The Wedgie-Tron 2000 is equipped with an automatic scan and attack protocol. I simply place it just outside of school grounds -- which is perfectly allowed since it is not school property-- and if it  _ happens  _ to go after four dimwitted delinquents who  _ happen  _ to be standing outside the doors for some reason, no one will be the wiser”. 

“Sounds complicated” commented Harold, “But I trust you”. 

“And Kipper deserves this, anyway” added Harold. “He’s a real jerk”. 

“Precisely and succinctly put” agreed Melvin, but Harold just stared at him. Melvin simplified, “I agree”. 

The Wedgie-Tron 2000, when Melvin unveiled it just outside of school grounds, was a sight to behold. Set atop a wheeled base, it was a tower of metal with a fountain of tubed arms sprouting from it, each one capped with threatening looking claw hands. Peeking at the entrance of the school from their hilltop outpost, Melvin confirmed that the targets were in place. Predictably enough for someone as dumb as Kipper, they were all standing around outside the school, clearly waiting for him and Harold to show so that they could torment them further. 

_ Little do they know _ thought Melvin with a vengeful grin, as he turned the invention on, put in a few boundaries on the keypad on its side, and sat back to watch their creation work. 

Despite its size and ungainly looking form, the Wedgie-Tron 2000 moved with surprising speed down the hill, the top of it scanning for targets while the arms whipped around-- prepared to cause some humiliating hurt. When Kippper&Co caught sight of the metal monstrosity, they all jumped. The three followers looked at it nervously, edging back towards the school, but Melvin and Harold could see Kipper yell at them, and then turn to yell at the robot. 

“What a fool” remarked Melvin, as Kipper realized that his yelling was doing nothing and tried to flee. But it was too late. The Wedgie-Tron 2000 had found its targets, and immediately its arms converged onto the group of 6th graders. They tried to dodge, but its underwear tracking vision was too accurate. True to its name, it simultaneously wedgied the four bullies, hoisting them up into the air with its unfailing metallic arms. 

Atop the hill, Harold couldn’t help but feel relieved as he watched Kipper and his gang get tears in their eyes, flailing midair and crying to be put down. 

“Now for the final touch” said Melvin dramatically, pulling a remote from his backpack. 

Typing a brief message into the keypad, and theatrically pushing a large red button on the top, Harold watched, confused, as Kipper got a panicked look and nodded frantically. He looked back to Melvin and saw that he had a very confident looking smile as he keyed in some more commands into the remote. 

“What did that do?” asked Harold, when he couldn’t handle the suspense any further. 

“The Wedgie-Tron 2000 merely delivered a message” replied Melvin smugly, “It informed Kipper Krupp that it can and will come again if he doesn’t improve his bad behavior. I think Kipper is inclined to listen to it, don’t you?” 

Watching as the four bullies were thrown down to the ground, and went crying into the building, Harold couldn’t help but agree. The Wedgie-Tron 2000 idled for a moment, before making a 180 turn and wheeling away from the school. 

“Where’s it going” wondered Harold aloud. 

“Back to my house. It’s done its job, so now I’m recalling it. Though, rest assured, we can summon it again should Kipper need more...persuasion”. Even though he agreed with the idea, there was something about Melvin’s tone that he didn’t like. Looking to his friend, who was making a last few inputs on the remote, Harold noticed that he still had that smile. But it wasn’t his usual smile, this was a mean smile. It almost looked like...“Melvin,” he decided to say as Melvin was placing the remote back into his bag, “that was cool, but you’re scaring me”. 

“What do you mean, Harold?” questioned the scientist, putting his backpack back on and turning towards Harold with a non-comprehending look. Harold almost sighed in relief to have his normal friend back. 

“I mean...I dunno. The way you’re talking. It sounds like bully talk” he explained with concern. 

“Oh?” replied Melvin, looking surprised at the suggestion, but then pausing further to consider what Harold had said, “Well, I didn’t mean to upset you. I just wanted us to be able to get back at Kipper”. 

“I get it” said Harold understandingly, relieved that Melvin was back to acting more like he knew him instead of that intense...whatever that was, “I did, too. Just maybe don’t be so crazy about it”. 

“Er, right” said Melvin as they walked down the path to the school, his ears burning slightly as he reflected on his prior behavior, “I just get carried away sometimes, I suppose”. 

“‘S alright” comforted Harold as they pushed open the doors. The school quiet in the early morning hours, the two friends made their way to their classroom. Just as Harold opened the door, the two could hear Mr Krupp bellow, “A ROBOT?! That’s a load of BUNK, Kipper!” 

He couldn’t help but giggle at that, and Melvin grinned in satisfaction, and the two went to their class. They both got the feeling they’d be seeing a lot less of Kipper Krupp. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so that was the last thing I had written from this. This was a fun angle to do for Movie|Melvin, because even though he doesn't really show it in canon, I would assume he still has his vengeful streak. I mean, he's a Melvin, petty vengeance is just a part of who they are. It was also fun kind of fleshing out how their friendship would work in this AU, just kinda playing around with the dynamic. 
> 
> I don't really plan on doing more with this, like I said I just kind of randomly wrote these down. But, hey, who knows with the way my brain works.   
> Hope you enjoyed! Leave kudos, comments, etc, thanks for reading.


End file.
